Haunted Houses – An Unorthodox Halloween

FRIGHTMARES!!!

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know Lagoon is the local amusement park.

Frightmares opened tonight and…well, what follows is why Lagoon should skip the summer, and just host Frightmares ALL YEAR LONG. Period, end of story. It is head and shoulders above their ‘normal’ stuff.

First, we are greeted with thumping music booming out of the HEARSE.

From Halloween buildup 09

NORMALLY, there is NOTHING there.

From Halloween buildup 09

During summer, just in the gates, there’s a rather ordinary flower bed…not a photo op.

From Halloween buildup 09

Don’t like ghosts? here’s some scarecrows.

From Halloween buildup 09

Who doesn’t appreciate a pumpkin tree?

From Halloween buildup 09

More photo ops.

From Halloween buildup 09

A rather bland little area in the summer has been transformed into a very New Orleans styled villa.

From Halloween buildup 09

Complete with a more classic hearse.

From Halloween buildup 09

Unfortunately, the Beach is closed for Frightmares…or rather, according to the sign, filled to capacity, you’ll have to wait for some of the patrons to exit, but feel free to form a line to the right….

From Halloween buildup 09

But, that’s more due to weather than anything else. The real MEAT of the matter lies in the fact there is entertainment EVERYWHERE at Frightmares.

This junkyard is typically just an empty lot. That’s it. Empty space. WHY is it not up year round?

There are 5 different shows to go watch. Singing, dancing, a hypnotist, etc. There is something hilarious about dancing chainsaw maniacs…

And everywhere you turn there are monsters wandering, ready to take a photo with you. Providing Lagoon with an IDENTITY it just does not have the rest of the year.

From Halloween buildup 09

All this, with the rides normally associated with Lagoon.

From Halloween buildup 09

To be honest, the haunted houses at Frightmares are nothing earth shattering, and there are better to be had out there. But, the ATMOSPHERE, and the FUN of the season, Frightmares dishes up in spades.

From Halloween buildup 09

And, for all you tombstone people looking for one more epitaph….Here’s a tombstone slideshow:

NIGHT OF 10000 CORPSES

The Castle of Chaos is opening it’s doors this evening, free to the public.

If you have not experienced a haunt in recent years, this would be a fun opportunity.

On one hand, you have to congratulate Castle of Chaos for this event.

One the other, they have done a VERY poor job of getting the word out and advertising it. I was just on the websight last week, looking for spring scare dates, and there was NOTHING. (the whole website is a mess right now, anyway. They need a better designer)

I’m seeing that the 2009 story-based haunt is closed for the night, so it will be the 3D haunt, and the “extreme” haunt.

You can read more about our experience at the Castle last year over here.

I DO know a bit more about the “Extreme Terror” haunt this year, however.

IF you sign the waiver, you get a badge (or whatever they’re using this year) signifying to the actors that THEY CAN TOUCH YOU. Or throw buckets of blood on you. Or whatever. However, this is not REQUIRED to go through that haunt. NOT signing the waiver simply makes that haunt more akin to the standard fare you’ve come to know and love. I’ld probably take the kids through it this year, as a result.

If only to listen to Alec talk about how many levels he gained by making it through each room, after screaming appropriately, of course. (He’s always fun in haunts)

Happenings around Utah.

It’s that time of year.

Time to start planning what excursion to take in celebration of Halloween.

First thing that comes to my mind is the Ghost Tours. The fun of hearing all the local legends, and seeing the places that are “really haunted” is quite fun in and of itself. You even get to learn something along the way. Great for the kids, if they can stay up late, good stories, good fun. Who knows, you might photograph a ghost.

Then there are the more traditional Haunted houses.

Castle of Chaos was fun, and would rank high on my list had we not been there earlier in the year.

Nightmare on 13th always rates high with folks. But, last time we were there, it, well, sucked.

The Haunted Hollow is one of the best around. And, given the distance and ease, the leading candidate for me and the boys this year.

The Haunted Forest is the Haunted Hollow’s big sister, but a much further drive.

However, one haunt has really captured my attention with a CLASSIC advertising angle. The Dreaded Grove claims to be “THE SCARIEST VENUE in Utah”.

Yeah, yeah, they all say that. But, Dreaded Grove goes further. It’s SOOOOO scary, they “Sell Depends at our concessions stand”. That’s right. It’s SOOOOOO scary, you’ll soil yourself. “But there’s much more to do than just walk through thw woods, WET YOUR PANTS, and leave.” Claims their website, and references bonfires, live entertainment, and movies all for free.

It claims 66 ACRES of forest to wander through, while wetting yourself, remember. Yet at the same time, they say it should take you 30 minutes for the actual haunt, but hours for the “full experience” (meaning the movies, games and all). 30 minutes and 66 acres is just plain untapped potential…

There is a mild ‘spooky woods’ on site for wee ones as well. So, presumably, you send your kids over there while you go wet yourself at the “real” haunt.

It also references a hay ride and a swamp ride, live bands, and food.

It is a drive, and it’s unlikely I’ld be able to make it. However, I LOVE the advertising. Brings back memories of classic B movies where they would claim the movie SO disgusting they would hand out barf bags. It was typically a clue the movie was going to suck…my gut tells me it’s likely true of the haunt as well, but I gotta give em credit for the approach.

Finally, for something a bit different, Odessy Dance Theater is putting on Thriller.

Crappy Movie Mega Marathon

What a weekend for the crappy movie!

First, we had the traditional AMC crappy movie night, with a surprisingly good (relative to the standard anyway)night, featuring Christine. I had actually never seen it, so it was a pleasure to actually get to watch something new. Even if I’m not a particular fan of Steven King movies, this one was most pleasantly humorous.

Then, TNT got into the act by airing AVP: Alien vs Predator. Alright, I have this general rule. Any movie that has a “vs” in the title will be utter trash. But, I also have a very special place in my heart for Alien.

There were 3 movies that stand out as scaring the holy hell out of me as a kid. The Birds, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Alien. I LOVED Alien. Or rather, I cowered in fear whenever I was NEAR Alien, and I loved it. I recall when Aliens was coming out. I “knew” I wouldn’t be scared this time because as the commercials were showing, the marines were going in to kick butt! It was going to end my fear of the thing the moment it hit theaters. (hey, I was young) Yeah…that worked. Add to that the fact my mom was working cleaning a local theater at the time, and us kids would tag along to help…so there we were in the dark theater with promo items of aliens all over.

It was about this time Maniac Manor, a local Haunted House, also decided to run with the Alien theme. The last room exitting the place was all catwalks and marines yelling at you to run as the yellow lights spun overhead and fog blasted out of piping in the wall. This Alien pops out of the piping and I totally and utterly lose all semblence of rational thought and RAN out of the place. Only time I’ve ever been scared into running from a haunt to this day, and I did not stop, did not look back till I reached the car.

LOVED Alien so much I even read some of the comics that came out. Alien vs Superman being wonderfully hilarious.

So, I just couldn’t pass up the TNT showing. And I sat there, calmly working on my own molds as the show played. Much to my surprise, I actually rather enjoyed the film. I was vaguely aware of Aliens Vs Predator comics and video games, but really never got into them, not being a big Predator fan. But, this movie, while horrible from a more rational perspective, recaptured a piece of that old Alien magic for me. Not that I was scared these days, but more that I sat with a kind of giddy joy watching the aliens make mince meat out of the Predators, and KNOWING how it would end, with the alien coming out of the surviving Predator, as the clues were abundant throughout the movie.

As familiar as I was with the Alien species, I also knew a sequal would deal with the predator version of the Alien, for they take on the characteristics of whoever they pop out of chest wise.

Enjoying the first, I couldn’t pass up the pay-per-view copy of AVP Requiem the following night. Sitting at the table, making shrunken heads, watching a most spectacularly bad movie. Yet, one that surprisingly stayed very true to the Aliens I had known. I was a little nervous of this, as a co-worker had told me it went into them creating genetic crossbreads. Turns out she was just unaware that Aliens take on the characteristics of whoever they burst out of.

A little disappointed that the Aliens didn’t go nearly as full bore as they SHOULD. Let’s see, we crash land in a forest near a town, bunch of aliens escape, tip for the screenwriters: Aliens don’t only target humans. All life in the forest would have been transformed into copies of aliens. (like the dog alien in Alien 3) But, I guess it just wasn’t as ‘scary’ as them going after just the town.

Unfortunately, this movie more seemed a showcase of the Predator than the former one. Still was a jolly romp down memory lane for me.

The room that will never be.

Haunted houses are typically broken up into ‘rooms’.

You’ll have the clown room, then the graveyard room, then the chainsaw guy room. Etc, and so on. I still think in that mindset quite a bit, but I like to get things to flow better, and up till now, it’s been basically one “room”. However, this year we are trying to get a slight seperation between the front yard “room” and the back yard “room”, and eventually, I have a theme planned for many ‘rooms’.

However, the other night, I came up with the room that will never be. It’s still vivid in my mind, and I’ll incorporate parts of it, I’m sure. Last night, as I was pulling my crystal skull from the mold, and soon laid up as I got a wee too strong a facefull of the vapors coming off the thing, I was thinking once again how best to use it. And I kept going back to this room…

Picture a hallway. Black walls, and making your way through some cobwebs. At the end of this hallway you can make out a circular room. The center of this room, is a human sized crystal skull, glowing in a white light. (lit from leds underneath from a technical standpoint. Around this skull are smaller crystal skulls, that are glowing differing colors. (color changing led’s probably) This is the only light in the room, these skulls glowing.

Walls black, floor and cieling black. Maybe a few statues around. No obvious exit. As you enter into the room, maybe about halfway, a switch in the floor is triggered. The skulls stop glowing, the room goes black for a few seconds.

Then, on pops a blacklight or two along the walls. And both the ceiling and floor reveal a magic circle. No, not a pentagram, though if it helps you to imagine one in the absense of knowing no others, it’ll serve the purpose for this reading. Painted in flourescent paint to line up with all the skulls.

A big, booming, reverberating voice also come on saying something about disturbing the place, or sacrifice, or something. I’m sketchy on the best script right now, as that would be tailored to fit whatever is out the exit. Just know it’s gotta be a big voice. And a moment later, a light comes on in the exitting hallway, revealing the exit. (a scrim would keep that exit invisible till the light comes on)

The room is great. Interactive, and would serve as a transition from one theme to another. Plus gives a leadup to whatever would be coming out the exit. Something many a haunt is lacking. (yeah, it makes perfect sense to come out of the dimented circus and walk right into a graveyard with no transition…)

So, why it will never be:

I am NOT building a walled hallway or room.
Giving that I somehow had the hallway and room already, it would be a considerable investment to get all the lighting, switches, relays, and etc set up.
I’m not sure how a magic circle will play in this neighborhood…people are equally likely to not understand and/or be offended/concerned about it’s inclusion.

One of these days when we’re rich and I have much more time to devote to this stuff.