Hail to the King

A glorious day.

It was about 10 months ago now. Halloween had just ended, the last remnants being packed away into their boxes, and stored away neatly in their resting places. There, a little styrofoam wig head bounced around on the garage floor.

Now, I had promised Jen, no halloween from Nov 1 through Jan 1. And so, hatched the plan. I’ld work on CHRISTMAS. By making a Jack Skellington. Hey, it’s not “Halloween”, it’s Christmas with a Halloween mix.

However, my searches of every store, every 2nd hand store, every good will store, and the internet yielded NO DVD copies of the Nightmare Before Christmas. Well, unless you felt like spending $50+ on one, anyway. And so, I was left reviewing what still photos I could find, and hooking up our VCR to see our old VHS copy.

Today, that changes.

Nightmare Before Christmas is released on DVD today. All hail the Pumpkin King!

And yes, that is just a taste for you of what is coming up after Halloween and into Christmas. But, there will be plenty of time to talk about that later.

"Overcome by events"

So much for plans.

I had Friday off, and had this great plan to get the graves done then…

HOWEVER. See, there’s this little teeny tiny problem that comes with 600+ people stomping across your yard in a set path every year. That path tends to…stick around. Not as green, not as dense, etc. However, we had good results last year with a fertilizing schedule, so we’re copying it this year, and that dictated that I needed to fertilize Friday.

So, mowing, trimming, fertilizing, and watering took up the morning, and into the evening. With the water going, that rendered the lawn off limits for a workspace, that left the driveway. And, with watching the kids, by the time I was free, it left little light. So, 2 grave caps got the next step. That’s where we left off. Not all 7, like I had hoped.

Saturday, I had planned to make skulls all day. Well, Emily just HAD to go and tell me about the super duper sale over at Old Navy Saturday morning. Kids pants for $7. Thus I found myself standing outside the local Old Navy 20 people back in a 200+ person line. I will have MUCH more to comment on the big sale shopping later in the year, but suffice it to say, Kyle had 3 new pairs of Jeans (stupid 3 per customer limit) within a minute of opening, I was back in the store for Alec in under 5 minutes, but EVERYTHING in the boy’s section had sold out. This store had virtually no selection there to begin with.

THEN we had to pick up Indy from the vet, after being neutered and de-clawed. There, they sprang upon me the fact that, oh, by the way, he’s going to need a special cat sand for the next few days. Didn’t they go over that with you? Uh, no.

So, drop him off at home, confiscate the cat sand, replace it with newspaper, grab Talia so Jen can get some sleep, head BACK out the door to the pet store for special cat sand.

‘Course, Talia has to go and fall asleep on the way home, destroying her normal nap schedule. Get home, get the cat sand in, feed the kids, hey, guess what. We need to get to the grocery store because we’re out of everything. And, I had forgotten about the special um…”salad” I was going to make for a pot luck.

So, with Talia’s schedule shot, it’s 4PM before she wakes up, get to the store, and come away with enough to get us through to the major shopping day, and the ingredients for ‘salad’.

This does bring me to another unorthodox cooking tip. Ever had trouble slicing tomatoes?

A few tricks I invented while working at Burger King, and having to manually slice ALL the tomatoes every day. 1st, tomatoes cut MUCH MUCH BETTER when chilled. So, since you gotta wash em anyway, do so in ice water.

Next, the hell with what the cooking books tell you…USE THE BREAD KNIFE. Makes nice, even thin slices, no troubles.

So, an easy “salad” to bring to your next pot luck. Slice some tomatoes, slice some mozzerella, alternate the two, and cover the whole thing with italian dressing. (green onions, thyme, parsley, etc optional too) Let sit overnight.

Needless to say, by the time this was all done, I had given up on the skulls. And instead settled in to watch The Ruins. Having read NOTHING on it previously, only knowing about the Mayan ruins holding something evil, I was interested.

Spoiler Alert:

However, as far as man eating vines capable of aparant intelligence and communication go, Audrey II is far more frightening and entertaining. Yes, the musical comedy version is more frightening. The Ruins had potential, and squandered it away by serving up a whole lotta cliche material and not exploring some of the more unique features, then neutering the ending. Much better “alternate ending”.

False advertising!

I EXPECTED to be sitting down to watch Devil Girl from Mars.

Instead, we sat down to watch The Bat. Stupid UEN changing the schedule on me.

But…The Bat has it’s place. As spoken of earlier, in a way, it’s the film that began it all. I remember the big promotion about it being aired Halloween night. First/one of the first 3d movies to be aired on TV. And, one of the fast food joints was giving out 3d glasses for it. We had the glasses, and the film was colorized. I was actually looking forward to watching it that year, even though I was not going to be able to go trick or treating because my brother was sick.

The glasses, they do nothing! And, we got a tripped out 3 image blob of a rubber bat flying around on the screen instead. IT SUCKED. I got bored, and went to hand out treats instead, and a haunter was born. Without The Bat, who knows, I might have ended up going overboard on Christmas!!! *gasp*!

So, despite my disappointment, we stayed up to view The Bat on a very windy Friday night, with trees shaking, house creaking and groaning in the wind, and things being tossed around outside. It’s funny, how often the folks in the movie attribute something to “just the wind”, only to have it turn out to be a real threat.

Perhaps that coincidence accounts for why Jen found Kyle asleep downstairs, with all the lights on, hiding under his covers, SITTING UP, and a death grip on his little stuffed monkey.

If I had only known, I would have scared him proper…or at least have gotten pics.

A very special Crappy Movie Friday Night!

I have spoken of Crappy Movie Friday Nights several times. AMC‘s “Fear Friday” that typically results in some of the most god-awefull horror films ever released being aired in the dead of the night on Friday night/Saturday morning.

However, AMC has been dropping the ball lately, and repeating the same showings every few weeks. In fact, this coming week is your chance to see The Exorcist II, if you have somehow missed it over the years. Even The Exorcist is airing, which you probably only have not seen if your parents forebade it from the house as being the embodiment of evil.

If you’re one of those few, here’s a recap of the exorcist for you in 30 seconds, played by bunnies to make it less evil:

See more hilarious remakes over here.

I’ve had to broaden the search for Crappy Movie Friday Nights. Fortunately, there’s a local network here in Utah that has been stepping up. UEN, normally a borish educational network has unleashed the unholy terror known as SciFi Fridays upon the local airways. Imagine my surprise when being bored with the AMC reshowing of Christine for what seems the dozenth time, surfing the channels to stumble on The Day of the Triffids over on UEN. In all of it’s unremastered glory, and looking as though it was being shown on an old reel projector.

Ever since, UEN has become a regular stop, with such wonderfull offerings as She Demons, Horror Hotel, and The Screaming Skull. It takes a special kind of awefull to come up with the tagline: We guarantee to bury you without charge if you die of fright during SCREAMING SKULL!

However…This weekend is one to surpass all others. It is once in a blue moon one has the opportunity to see a truly awefull masterpiece. This Friday brings us such an opportunity.

This Friday is a moment I’ve been waiting nearly a year for. Dragon Wars is hitting the small screen.

Oh, how beautifull! This Friday, on SciFi channel (check local listings for time).

I recall seeing the previews for it’s theatrical release. And, boy, did it look wonderfull. There was also no way in hell I was paying money for it. To TV in under a year…not bad…

Come on, it’s DRAGONS fighting each other while thrashing the military and LA. You KNOW you want to see that. (Emily, I’m looking at you…)

So, pop that popcorn, grab the kids, and sit back with me this Friday to take in what is sure to be a most horrible movie night.

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Categorized as Movies

Banner troubles, and a present.

So, we got the lovely banner all made and stained…but what insignia should I put on it?

There are my classics. “The Faces”. Pick one, and run with it. I made these faces years ago, and they’ve hung around ever since to where I see them more or less as something of a personal signature in reguards to all things halloween.

Couple skull designs I was kicking around. While superficially fitting, they all tended to scream ‘pirates’.

And, in my mind, I keep seeing a white handprint. Something akin to the Uruk-Hais. Yet, I do not feel this alone to be enough.

Several tribal inspired knot designs similarly do not feel ‘right’.

Well, it will come when the time is right.

And, in other news, I finally found me a Mola Ram!!!

See, Lego. Hasbro is not afraid of the burning heart. It works fine. Now, go make me a lego set that features the scene!

Never happen. Lego couldn’t even manage to get the proper heart-ripping into their video game.

This on a game that features hearts bouncing around on the floor anytime someone/something is killed anyway.

This was a fairly big deal in our house, actually. Alec got this game for his birthday. And, while I was busy remodeling, I got a couple excited children hollering for me to come see, they had finally made it to the heart-ripping scene. Such disappointment…

The thing is a SUPERB scene. I understand it nearly gave Temple of Doom an R rating, instead created the PG-13 rating, and had to be editted in europe to be shown.

Great headdress, wierd chanting, fire, creepy statues, necklaces made of human skulls, hearts being ripped out, catching on fire, drums seemingly made from heads, maniacal laughter…not sure I quite agree with the clown makeup on the lesser priests there. Even makes their ‘evil’ face while pushing the lever to drop the poor sap into the pit look odd. Still, one could watch this endlessly for inspiration…